Eyes Gone Cold
by ahyperactivehero
Summary: While attempting to save Gwen from The Dark Tower, Merlin is captured and forced to endure the same treatment as Gwen. Slowly, the two of them can't help but sympothize with Morgana and her plans, despite all the trouble she's caused. Will anyone be able to save Merlin from Morgana's spells or even himself? Dark Tower AU. Not slash.
1. Chapter 1

So this isn't exactly my first attempt at writing a Merlin fanfic, but it is the first one I'm posting. I started writing this back at Christmas time, when the Merlin feels were still killing me, and even though I've went back through and reread this, please forgive any inaccuracies.

That being said, this is an AU of the episode The Dark Tower, so yes, it will be different from the show. And I know that both my idea and my story aren't that original, but oh well, this is going to be fun!

Summary: While attempting to save Gwen from The Dark Tower, Merlin is captured and forced to endure the same treatment as Gwen. Will anyone be able to save Merlin from Morgana's spells or even himself? Dark Tower AU.

* * *

Arthur and everyone else were looking for Gwen, Merlin went to find Morgana. He knew that he had to stop this and end this war now. Morgana seemed to be getting stronger and stronger with each passing day, and although Merlin was still stronger than her, he wasn't willing to take any chances.

Morgana had taken Gwen, _Gwen of all people_, and held her captive like some kind of animal. Gwen who, even after all Morgana had done to Arthur and the kingdom, still mourned the loss of her once best friend. It just wasn't right. Not that much seemed to be these days.

Merlin could hear the sound of fighting coming from down the hall. He knew that they had found Gwen, and he could hear her pained screams carrying down the hallway. He wanted to run back, to help his friends, but he knew that he couldn't. He had to find Morgana.

He followed a spiral staircase until he reached the peak of the tower, where he had assumed Morgana would be. Instead, there was a dark room with black goo dripping down from the ceiling.

Without even setting a foot in the room he knew that Morgana wasn't there. He turned around, intent on walking back down the hallway and stairs until he found the room that she was actually in, but a force flung him backwards.

His head cracked against the hard stone as he landed inside the room. Black sludge dripped onto his face as he propped himself up with his elbows, and stared slightly doe-eyed through the black spots in his vision.

Morgana stood in the door way, the last bit of gold fading from her eyes as she smirked at Merlin. "How nice of you to join me, Merlin," she said, her voice as cold as ice. He glared back at her, refusing to break eye contact.

This was the person he had went in search for, but now that he had found her he didn't know quite what to do. He knew that he had to get rid of her, that he had to make sure that she could never harm anyone ever again, but how was he to do that? His head was throbbing from the force of hitting the ground, making it hard to concentrate on any spells that might help him, and his vision wavered like disturbed water.

"Morgana," Merlin said eventually, still staring her in the eyes. Her blue eyes seemed icier than ever as she stared him down. Slowly, the smirk spread across into a full blown smile.

"_Noooo!"_ a scream echoed from somewhere below them in the castle. Merlin flinched at the anguished sound of Gwen's voice, resisting the urge to try and run to them. He knew that Morgana would never let him past, and even if he somehow did manage to get past her, she would only follow him back to Arthur and everyone else.

He knew that no matter what he did, he couldn't allow Morgana to get her hands on a single person down there. He would defend them until his last breath, and he would make sure that they got out of here safely.

"Sounds like they're having fun," Morgana said, her voice holding faint traces of amusement. She took a step back from the doorway, her black dress dragging along the floor. "Why don't I just go see what all the fuss is about, hm?" she said.

With one last smile she flicked her wrist and the heavy wooden door slammed shut. Merlin quickly jumped to his feet and ran to the door, fists pounding on it even though he knew it would do no good. He raised his hand to the door and tried to focus his foggy mind onto a single spell that might help him escape.

He could feel his magic coiling inside him, ready to spring out and attack whatever he told it to. But instead of it attacking the door like he had expected it to, he felt it roll around inside him like a wave of pure fire. He felt himself falling to the floor, but his head was pounding too badly for him to actually focus on catching himself, and the urge to throw up almost overwhelming.

Gingerly, he raised himself to his elbows again, glancing around the dark room. The slime from earlier was still dripping on to the ground, forming black puddles in different places around the room. A shaking hand reached up to wipe some sweat from his face, when he encountered some of the black goo that had fallen onto his face.

_What is this stuff?_

Before he had a chance to think of anything else, a scream echoed inside the room. With strength he didn't know he had, he shot up and scooted over until his back was against the door. The scream continued on, seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. His hands clapped down over his ears in a futile attempt to block out the sound of the horrible screams.

As sudden as the scream had started, it stopped. Cautiously, he glanced around the room with his hands still clamped down on his ears. The scream hadn't sounded like a normal scream, hell it hadn't even sounded _human. _

He tried to remind himself that this was currently Morgana's castle (not to mention the supposed Dark Tower), so there was every chance that whatever was in the room with him wasn't human. A shudder ran through him as he thought of all the things that could be waiting in the darkness for him to turn his head, to look away so it would be able to do whatever with him.

He searched for his magic but was only able to conjure a few sparks inside. His head was pounding with an intense pain, confusing his magic and himself.

"Merlin?" a voice called out to him. He tensed as he turned his head to look at who was calling him.

Arthur stood there, his sword drawn and glancing around the room. His eyes rested on Merlin and they widened before he rushed over to his fallen friend. "Merlin!" he said as he swooped down next to him.

Merlin opened his mouth to ask Arthur what had happened, and how he had found him, when he sensed something was wrong. He couldn't exactly explain it, but it prevented him from speaking.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked him. His eyes seemed to be concerned and searching Merlin's for answers.

Merlin closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. When he opened his eyes, however, Arthur was gone. He looked around, panic seizing his heart as he sat up against the door. Arthur had just been there, hadn't he? Where could he have gone in such a short amount of time?

"Arthur?" Merlin called out. His voice echoed back to him in the still darkness. "Arthur?" He lowered his voice to a whisper.

It was slow going, but he finally managed to force himself to his knees. Not completely trusting his strength to carry himself to his feet, he simply crawled over to the nearest pillar, just barely avoiding a puddle of slime as he collapsed next to the pillar.

Suddenly, a sword swung down out of nowhere, narrowly avoiding Merlin's neck as he rolled out of the way. His head pulsed at the pain, but he ignored it in favor of staring at the person who had tried to decapitate him.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked, not entirely believing his eyes. Arthur stood in front of him, his eyes filled with hatred, and his sword pointing out in front of him. The tip of it rested a mere inch above Merlin's heart, and he felt his heart beat speed up slightly. He gasped for air through the pain and disbelief.

"Arth-" Merlin began, but Arthur quickly interrupted him.

"Don't you dare say my name," the King ground out as he glared down the person he once called his friend. "Don't you dare pretend to be my friend, when all you've ever done is lie to me."

Merlin watched as Arthur raised his sword above him again, ready to strike. Merlin rolled away again, swiftly squatting down behind a different pillar. He placed his hand over his stomach to try and hold back some of the burning feeling as he sneaked a look around the other side of the pillar.

Arthur was gone again. Merlin shook his head. Had he imagined the whole thing? Surely he had, Arthur wouldn't have attacked him, would he have? And what had he meant when he said he had lied to him? There was no way he could possibly know about Merlin's magic, but what else could he have been talking about?

_Either way,_ he thought, _I have to get out of here._

He stood on his shaking legs, finding the strength in his fear. Before he'd even taken two steps, a timid voice called out to him. His eyes widened as he turned around as fast as he could.

His hopeful blue eyes locked on to the beautiful brown ones staring at him from on the floor. "Freya," he whispered, his voice light as a feather as if he was afraid that any minute it would all come crashing down and she would disappear.

She smiled at him and he felt his knees give out completely. He hit the ground, but his eyes never left hers. He smiled at her, his first real smile in a long time. She smiled back at him, and slid over to where he was sitting.

She was still wearing the clothes that Merlin had last seen her in, but they were torn and worn almost as much as the ones she'd been wearing when he'd first met her. She slid gently next to him, her hand rising up to his face.

"Merlin," she said. His voice caught in his throat, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. God, it felt so good to hear her voice again after so long, even if it was just his name. He wanted her to talk, for her to never stop talking.

He repeated her name, his arms coming up around her to hug her. She let him hug her, but he couldn't help but notice that she didn't hug back. He let go of her, holding her back at arm's length to get a good look at her.

Her hair was wild and untamed and her clothes were torn and ragged, but she still looked the same. She was still the girl that he had fallen in love with. But something seemed off. Just like there had been something off about Arthur earlier.

He couldn't help but tense as he leaned back away from her. Her smile was still in place, but instead of it being a comforting and loving look, it was almost harsh. Like Morgana's.

"You let me die, Merlin," she said, her once loving voice replaced with one filled with hate.

Merlin gasped as he shook his head. "No, no I didn't," he said. "I- I did everything that I could, I-I" he stammered, but Freya cut him off.

"You did everything you could? No, you didn't. You let me die, Merlin. You let me die, and then you continued to support and protect my murderer. I thought you loved me, Merlin. I thought you said we would run away together and live somewhere beside a lake. You lied, Merlin," she said.

Merlin shook his head. No, this couldn't be the girl he had once loved. The Freya he knew wouldn't be so cruel. The Freya he knew would have understood him and what he was doing. She would have been sympathetic and kind and understanding just as she had been in real life.

"It's your fault, Merlin," she said one last time before Merlin closed his eyes and covered his ears to drown out her voice and vision. This wasn't the Freya he knew or wanted to remember. He wanted to remember her as the beautiful and kind girl she had once been.

When he opened his eyes she was gone, just like Arthur. He wasted no time in running over to the door and trying to force it open, but the heavy wood wouldn't yield. It didn't even budge an inch as he pushed all of his weight against it.

Even though his mind told him that he wouldn't be able to push the door open, he felt as if he had to try. He scrapped his fingers against the door until they were raw and bleeding, and even then he didn't stop. If he could just get the door open, if he could just get out of the room everything would be okay, right?

"Merlin?"

He shook his head. No. There was no way that voice was real. It couldn't be, because he was dead. He was dead and so was Freya. This was nothing except some kind of trick set up by Morgana herself.

"Merlin, come on," the vision behind him said, his voice pleading with Merlin to turn around.

Reluctantly, Merlin turned his head to see the person in front of him. Even though he had known who it was, it still hurt him to see him with his own eyes.

Will stood there in front of him, with Balinor a few paces behind. Neither one of them moved, only stared at Merlin with heart breaking looks on their faces. He knew what they would say to him though, if they were speaking. They would blame him for their deaths, and he couldn't find it in him to argue with them. It was his fault that they were gone, after all.

"Go away," Merlin whispered. Both of them took a step towards him instead, neither one of them heeding his words. "You're not real. You can't be."

Will smiled a vicious smile at that. "You'd like to believe that, wouldn't you Merlin?" he asked. His once friendly face was now replaced with something similar to hatred.

This was obviously not the Will he had grown up with in Ealdor. The Will he knew had willingly gave his life for Merlin to keep his friendship with Arthur and to keep his secret hidden from the other man. He knew deep down that this was not Will, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Balinor stepped in front of Will. Merlin flinched back, deciding that these visions were obviously going for the ones that hurt him most. He had been unable to save Balinor because Arthur had been there, but that didn't mean that his death had necessarily been Merlin's fault.

But Merlin's mind was running wild. Yes, of course it had been his fault Balinor and Will and Freya had died. Who else's would it have been? He tried to shake these thoughts from his head, but no matter how hard he tried they kept coming back full force. They plagued him, teased him, just as the figures in the room were doing now.

"Please go away," he begged them as he curled up on the floor. _Please, _he begged, _someone come find me._

* * *

So that was the first chapter of Eyes Gone Cold, and I hope you've enjoyed it. Next chapter should be up soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Morgana leaned around the corner, watching as Gwen sobbed over the body of her dead brother. She smirked at her Gwen as she fooled the king and his most loyal knights with her tears. Morgana was sure that she actually did feel the loss of her brother, but she also knew that they were fake tears that she was crying, and that she was under her control now.

_Arthur will never see it coming,_ she thought as she watched him try to comfort his distraught wife. But nothing the king did seemed to ease his wife's wails as she gripped the blood stained chain mail in her hands.

She smirked one last time as she turned to leave. There was no point in them seeing her now, even though they were obviously no match for her. She had gotten what she had wanted, a loyal follower and friend in Gwen once again, and that was all she need for now. Gwen would have to make Arthur believe her story all on her own, but Morgana held no doubts that she would.

Now to deal with her little pest she had locked in the mandrake room. She honestly wasn't sure what she wanted to do with him. There was always the possibility that he might one day be useful to Morgan and her plans. After all, two spies in Camelot are better than one.

Then again, he had failed to kill Arthur when she had used the Fomorroh against him. If he had failed her then, what was to stop him from failing her now?

_But, _she reasoned_, Gwen would be there as well. Surely she would be able to keep the cheeky manservant in check. But maybe a little bit of reassurance wouldn't hurt. _

With that thought, it was decided. She would use Gwen against Arthur, as well as Merlin. What would Arthur do, now that the two people he trusted most in the world were too far gone for him to reach?

It was simple. He would fail, and Morgana would win.

* * *

Once Gwen had calmed down enough to stand, Arthur motioned for the knights to help gather Elyan so they could make their way out of The Dark Tower. The entire place gave him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and the sight of his beautiful queen kneeling beside her dead brother did nothing to ease the feeling.

Percival bent down on one side of Elyan with Leon on the other. Percival slid his arms underneath the body of his fallen friend, and despite the wound on his leg, lifted him up off of the from, while Leon gathered Elyan's arms and placed them back against his body. It would only hurt Gwen more to see her brother's arms waving uselessly as they walked.

Arthur watched as they picked up Elyan and began to move him outside. Gwaine moved out of the doorway as the two knights squeezed past him. His eyes roamed over the room, feeling the shock at having lost Elyan, but he could still tell that something was missing.

He looked around the room one last time, his eyes resting on Gwen and Arthur, who were the only two people in the room. If they were the only ones in here, and Percival and Leon had just left with Elyan, then there was only one person unaccounted for.

Merlin.

His heart jumped slightly as he looked around for his friend, and then it felt like it would stop completely when he realized that his friend was nowhere to be seen. He had followed them in there, hadn't he? He knew that he had seen him in the booby trapped room, but where had he gone since then? Had he somehow gotten lost in between the rooms? Maybe he had taken a wrong turn somewhere and had ended up in another room.

His heart beat didn't slow down any, though. What if Merlin had managed to stumble into another booby trapped room and gotten himself hurt? They had already lost Lancelot and now Elyan; he wasn't sure that they could take loosing another close friend.

Gwaine didn't want to break up the scene of the king and queen in front of him, though. Both of them looked like one sentence could take them down for good, dragging them both even deeper into the depths of despair. But this was _Merlin._ He couldn't wait if there was even a chance that Merlin might be hurt or missing.

"Sire," Gwaine said, deciding that he should use one of his titles, instead of his name. It might help him feel like he was in more control of the situation than he actually was.

Arthur looked up at him over the top of his queen's head and saw Gwaine standing there. Gwaine shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, obviously choosing his words carefully.

"Yes, Gwaine?"

Gwaine shifted one last time before he spoke again. "Where's Merlin?" he asked, choosing not to directly mention that Merlin was missing. After all, Arthur could have sent him off to look in another part of the tower by himself, although Gwaine doubted it. Who would send helpless Merlin, who didn't even have any chainmail, off on his own?

Arthur looked around him, his arms never once leaving their protective positions on the queen. His blue eyes became filled with worry and a slight panic as he realized that his manservant was nowhere in sight. His head swiveled around, almost like he was hoping that Merlin was just hiding behind him.

"Merlin?" he called out, his voice showing the concern that he often tried to hide. Gwen looked around, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Her brown eyes were still filled with tears as she glanced around for her friend.

"Merlin, I swear, if you think this is some kind of joke," Arthur said as he shifted his grip on Gwen so he could place one arm completely around her and use the other to grab his sword.

"I don't think he's kidding, Arthur," Gwen said quietly, her arms latched around Arthur. Her voice shook with emotion and the tears continued to stream down her face in an unending river.

"Well then, where is he?" he asked, to no one in particular. When it seemed that no one could offer up an answer, he pointed at Gwaine with his sword.

"Go look for him. And when you find him, tell him he's going to get extra chores for a month for this," he said as he started to lead Gwen out of the room.

Gwaine could only nod his head and follow his king's orders. He walked out of the room and looked down the hallway, searching for any sign that Merlin might have gone down one of the hallways.

On a whim, he chose to go down the left one. He walked and walked, checking to see if each door was unlocked and what was inside the room if it was. He also made a mental note of the ones that weren't unlocked, hoping to get Leon or someone to help him knock them down if he didn't find Merlin before then.

He knew that he had little time to actually find Merlin. Arthur would want to get Gwen away from this place as soon as he could, and Elyan's body would need to be prepared for his funeral. Deep down, Gwaine knew that Arthur wouldn't want to leave Merlin behind in the Dark Tower, but he also knew that the stress of this situation was almost too much for anyone to bear.

As he walked down the hallways he began to call for Merlin. Instead of hearing his friend's cheery voice calling back to him all he received was silence filling the air.

Merlin watched as another vision stepped out from behind a pillar. A smaller, younger Mordred appeared, dressed in his green cloak as he had been when he was a child. A slender pale hand appeared on his shoulder, and Merlin followed the hand up to the face of the person it belonged to.

There stood Morgana, dressed in her beautiful blue dress, just as she had all those years ago when they had been friends. When there had been trust between the two of them along with Arthur and Gwen. This was a Morgana who would never expect Merlin to poison her or to even be in a war against her.

"Merlin, you look horrible," she said. Her voice wasn't harsh or hateful like it was nowadays. It was soft and caring, just like it had been before. His heart ached at the sight of his old friend standing in front of him.

Of all the people, he felt like he had let her down the most. She had deserved better than to be poisoned by her friend, even if the dragon had said that it had been the right thing to do.

She was supposed to have died that day. She was supposed to have died beautiful and uncorrupted. But Merlin had failed to do even that. He had failed to give her the death she had deserved while still trying to be her friend.

"Don't look at me like you've seen a ghost, Merlin," she said, a slight smile on her lips. It wasn't the cruel and cold one she was normally seen wearing now, but one filled his happiness and life and friendship.

Merlin knew it wouldn't last though. He knew that this vision would soon twist her into the horrible witch that she was now and leave him with nothing more than a memory of her.

But that didn't mean he wasn't happy to see her. It was just like all the others before her. He felt pain at seeing them, especially at hearing their heartbreaking words thrown at him, but there was a slight joy at seeing them again, too. He hadn't seen them in so long that to see them now made his heart soar at the mere sight of them again.

"Morgana," he whispered. His eyes were overflowing tears again now, and it didn't matter how many times he wiped them away, because they always came back. She smiled at him and came closer, sitting down on the dirty floor next to him.

"Yes, Merlin?" she asked him, sweeping some of his hair out of his eyes. Her hands were soft, and they smelled like the different scents she had used in Camelot all those years ago.

"I-I miss you," he said finally. Those words weren't just towards Morgana, no, they went to all the people he had been seeing. They went towards his once loved Freya, his father Balinor, and even the small child Mordred that was standing off to the side watching the two of them talk.

"And I you," she said.

Her eyes went from the comforting blue color, to the icy cold they seemed to always be now, and her once shiny dark hair fell in limp tangles around her face. Her hand tightened around his face, forcing him to watch as she changed from the once beautiful and hopeful royal, to the twisted, enchanting sorceress she was now.

"We could've been perfect together, you know?" she asked him. The hardness was back in her eyes and voice now, making Merlin flinch slightly. "You, me, and Mordred could have run away and lived with the druids. They would have protected us from Arthur's and Uther's rein. You liked the druids, didn't you? I know that you had a soft spot for them," she said.

Merlin tried to twist his head to break free from her grip, bur she refused to let go. He could feel her nails dig into his skin and blood dripped down his chin and neck as she continued to talk.

"They wouldn't have given us over, not if you were with Mordred and I. We could've lived a happy life together, with no worries and no one being executed."

Merlin knew that that wasn't true, though. He had to protect Arthur, for one day he would unite Albion and people with magic would be free. He knew this. He _knew_ this.

"Arthur isn't Uther, Morgana," Merlin said, his voice a little stronger. Her eyes flared gold, causing Merlin to flinch, but when nothing happened he relaxed slightly.

"He has fooled you then, Merlin. So very fooled," she said.

"You're the one trying to fool people."

Morgana released her hold on him, and he turned away from her until his back was facing her. He honestly didn't know if he had it in him to fight against anything she said anymore.

* * *

Morgana watched as the manservant rolled himself into a ball, trying to escape whatever vision it was that the mandrake roots were making him see. His face was covered with tears, and his body shook with sobs that he tried to hide.

She wasn't a fool though. She could see how obviously upset he was about whatever the vision version of her had told him. How he had flinched at whatever 'she' had said to him. How he had clawed his own face, trying to escape whatever it was that had a hold of him in his own mind.

Even after all he had done to her, though, she couldn't help but feel pity for him. He had sounded so utterly heartbroken when he had admitted to missing her; something that she didn't think was even possible anymore. Had he truly missed her as much as he was acting?

But even in the middle of a mandrake induced panic, he still had such loyalty to Arthur. Why did Arthur get such a loyal friend and a beautiful castle and a freedom to be who he was, while she got loneliness and a dark tower and chased by everyone who she had ever cared for?

Morgana held her hand up, murmuring a few words from the Old Religion. Her eyes flashed gold then faded back to the freezing blue color.

Merlin gasped at the pain, barely even noticing his eyes open as he clutched his stomach. He tried to regain his breath as he looked up at the door, willing it to open, but instead he received more pain. His magic burned like literal fire, almost as if his insides had turned to molten metal without him even knowing.

He gripped his stomach as tightly as his fingers would allow. He could feel his fingers scrapping at his stomach, trying to tear away the fabric that surrounded it. With agonizing slowness, he felt his shirt finally begin to lift up, revealing that his once pale stomach was now covered in angry, red marks. They looked like something from the Old Religion, but he was in too much pain to even try and make them out at the moment. Instead, his fingers picked at them, causing even more agony, but he was unable to stop.

Merlin knew that it wasn't helping, but he felt he had to do something. His hands were cool against the fire on his stomach, as he laid on his back now, trying to quell the raging inferno that was now his skin. If he just laid his hands on the bleeding, burnt cuts, the pain lessened, but not by much.

"Please!" he yelled, hoping someone could hear him. Deep down he knew that they couldn't though. The painful wails of Gwen were gone now, replaced with an eerie silence that was only broken by his ragged breathing. The silence was almost too much for Merlin to take. It shouldn't be this silent, not in this place at this time. Not when Gwen and Arthur and the knights were still in danger. Not when he was still necessary.

Over time, although Merlin didn't know how long that time actually was, the pain began to dull until it was a slow burning fire. It was still torture to try and move, but he was able to breathe easier as he laid his face against the cool stone. It felt like such a relief from the flames from earlier that he could do nothing but enjoy the cool stone.

He knew that he had to get up, to get away from the visions in the room and to go and find out what had happened to the others, but the mere thought of moving pained him. Part of his mind told him that he would know, he would _feel it, _if anything had happened to Arthur, but the other part of him knew that so much could go wrong aside from harm coming to Arthur himself.

Morgana walked over to him, kneeling down until she had at his side. She could see the marks from the spell clearly, as though they had been painted on top of Merlin's pale skin. The marks were dark and slightly burnt around the edges. Blood slowly trickled out from the marks, leaving small trails of blood to the floor, which was only increased by his frantic clawing.

"No!" Merlin screamed as another wave of pain and fire rolled through the marks on his skin. His magic was almost overflowing inside him, choking him and depriving him of any air in the room.

Suddenly, a cool hand was sweeping his hair out of his face. Despite his experience with the visions so far, he couldn't help but lean into the comforting touch. The touch felt so safe and caring that he accidentally let out a sigh.

His eyes opened and met Morgana's, who was hovering above him. He wanted to jump back from her, to escape whatever else the vision had in store for him, but he couldn't. His stomach was still throbbing from the burning marks, and Morgana's hand offered a comfort that he couldn't help but crave.

Merlin opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't. He tried again, moving his hands from his stomach up to his throat. His magic still had a firm grip on his throat, hindering him from speaking and breathing.

Panic began to sweep through him and he twisted on the floor. Morgana could see this and quickly went to soothe him.

"Shh," she said softly, "It's okay, Merlin."

Merlin didn't want to believe her, but her voice sounded so sweet and believable, that he couldn't help the almost calming effect it had on him.

"There, there," she said as she continued to brush his hair back. Her hands were as gentle as a mother's trying to calm a frightened child. "You need to calm down. Just breathe," she said.

He couldn't help but obey what she was saying. Her words had an almost enchanting effect on him, helping him to relax into an almost peaceful state of mind.

"Morgana." The single, whispered name seemed to be the only thing he was capable of saying, or even thinking at the moment. She smiled, a genuine smile, and whispered to him.

"It's okay now. You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you," she said.

Merlin's blue eyes glazed over as he stared into hers, and he scrunched up his face in confusion. "W-what?" he tried to ask, but his voice faltered before he could finish the question.

"_Merlin?"_ a voice called out from the other side of the door. He jerked slightly, but his eyes never left Morgana's.

Morgana glanced up at the door, and then bent back down to Merlin. She hooked her arms under his and scooted him across the floor and away from the door. Merlin moaned in pain as his stomach protested at being moved and dragged around.

"Look at me," she said, even though it wasn't really necessary. Looking at her seemed to be all he was able to do at the moment. She brushed his hair back again and stared him in the eye. "Listen. They're a danger. Everyone in Camelot is now. They want to kill me and you and even Gwen, do you understand?"

Merlin stared, slightly dumbfounded. Why would they want to kill Morgana or Gwen? They were such kind and caring people. Only someone without a heart could honestly want to kill either one of them.

"I'm your friend, Merlin," Morgana said as she placed a hand on his stomach. The markings burned again, making him squirm and cry out in pain. "You can trust me. Arthur is just using you and Gwen. I'll make sure that you two are safe and cared for."

Merlin nodded his head through the searing pain in his stomach. Morgana placed one last hand on Merlin's marks, causing him to cry out right before the door burst open.

Gwaine was standing there, his sword drawn and pointed at the pair on the ground. His eyes became as round as dinner plates when he saw Merlin sprawled in the arms of Morgana. She looked away from Merlin and their eyes met, a smirk spreading across her face.

"Merlin!" Gwaine yelled as he ran forward, just in time to watch Morgana disappear in a in a flurry of wind and dark shadows. Without Morgana's arms supporting Merlin, he slumped the rest of the way to the floor. His head rolled on the stone ground, giving him the appearance of a dead body.

Gwaine hurried over to his fallen friend. He collapsed to his knees next to him, his hands coming to rest on the sides of his face. "Merlin! Come on, Merlin," he said as he gently shook him. "You need to wake up, mate."

His hands shook as he reached for Merlin's neck for a pulse. Relief spread through him when he felt a faint, weak, pulse beating in Merlin's neck. It was short lived, however, when he noticed the blood on Merlin's hands and the ground around them.

Gingerly, Gwaine eased Merlin's slightly torn tunic up to reveal dark markings spread across his stomach. Across the markings were deep finger nail tracks where Merlin had obviously, for whatever reason, tried to scratch his skin off. He couldn't help the slight gasp that came out at the sight.

Merlin's unfocused blue eyes opened to stare up at Gwaine. Or, at least they seemed to be trying to stare at Gwaine. Instead, they rolled around, seeming to be out of control.

Gwaine couldn't help but be slightly relieved at Merlin's awakening. "We need to get you out of here," he said as he settled beside Merlin, preparing to lift his hurt friend off of the ground.

"You're new," Merlin said softly. Gwaine cast a concerned look in Merlin's direction. Maybe he wasn't quite as well as Gwaine had once hoped.

"What do you mean, Merlin?" he asked him, easing his arms underneath the boy's long, lanky legs. He tried in vain to wrap Merlin's arms around his neck, but had to stop when he realized that Merlin didn't seem to have the strength to control his own neck, much less hold on to the knight.

"New vision. I haven't seen you yet. I'm surprised you didn't show up with Lancelot or Arthur," he said simply. He didn't sound sad exactly, more like all the hope has drained from him.

"Vision?" Gwaine asked. He decided that as soon as he got Merlin to the rest of the knights he would check him for head injuries. Merlin obviously seemed to be suffering from some sort of delusion.

"Please, go away," Merlin begged. His lids slowly slid shut as he sagged completely into Gwaine.

Gwaine was on the verge of panicking now. Something was obviously wrong with Merlin, if his hopeless voice was anything to go by. What had Morgana done to him in the short time he had gone missing?

He picked Merlin up off of the ground, trying his hardest not to notice how light he was. _Merlin was almost a full grown adult; he should not be this light, _Gwaine thought as he tried did his best to hurry out of the dark room.

It didn't take long for him to find Gwen, Arthur, and the rest of the knights sitting in the lowest level of the tower. Elyan's body had been covered by one of the knight's red cape, although it did little to help the matter. Gwen was sitting as close to Elyan without actually touching the cape as she could, the pain written clearly on her face.

"Arthur," Gwaine said lowly, trying to gain the attention of his king.

Arthur slowly lifted his eyes from Gwen to see Gwaine now standing in the room holding a shaking, bloodied, Merlin. Wordlessly, he stood up and marched over to Gwaine.

"What happened?" he asked gravely as he helped Gwaine ease Merlin down to the ground. Leon stood beside Gwen, trying to decide if he should go to help Merlin or stay where he was and lend his support to his queen. In the end, Arthur made the choice for him, when he called Leon to bring some of the bandages that they had packed over to them.

Leon searched through a couple of bags before finding the one that contained Merlin's medical supplies. A little more rummaging and he found the bandages that Arthur had requested.

Arthur took the bandages from Leon and set about trying to wrap Merlin's stomach. His hands continued to twitch, still trying to scratch away at the dark markings.

"Sire," Leon said as he looked at the markings. "What do you think those are?"

Arthur looked at the markings at now scarred Merlin's stomach. They were obviously something magic related, the swirling, dark patterns designed in three lines that went all the way around his stomach until they wrapped back around. The marks were only interrupted by the long and deep scratches from Merlin's earlier frantic clawing.

"I don't know. Where did you find him, Gwaine?" Arthur asked as he continued to bind the wounds. Maybe if they were wrapped, Merlin would be able to resist the urge to scratch them.

"I found him up in the tower with Morgana."

Both Leon and Arthur jerked to a halt. Had their ears been playing tricks on them or had Gwaine really said that he had found Merlin in a room with Morgana?

"If that's supposed to be some kind of joke, it isn't funny, Sir Gwaine," Arthur said harshly. Gwaine's face was completely serious, however.

"It's no joke. I finally managed to open the door, and Morgana was in the room with Merlin," he said. "I fear that she might have given him a head injury, as he kept saying he was seeing visions and that I wasn't real." He didn't mention that he was also slightly fearful of something else being wrong with those markings on his stomach.

Across the room, Gwen's ears perked up at hearing this. Had Merlin been through the tower just as she had? Her gracious Morgana hadn't killed Merlin, even though she had obviously had the chance, so was there perhaps a chance Merlin was on their side now? She had so many questions that she wanted to ask either Merlin or Morgana, but she knew the part she was meant to play. She was supposed to be playing the heart broken girl with the brother who had been murdered by Morgana.

Except she didn't really feel heartbroken, nor did she feel like Morgana had _murdered _her brother. It wasn't a feeling that she could easily explain, though. She of course felt bad that Elyan was dead- he had been her brother, of course, but she didn't feel particularly devastated. She didn't know why, but she couldn't help but be slightly thankful. She knew that the torment of losing Elyan would be devastating at its full force.

Percival watched these proceedings with concerned eyes. He knew what Merlin meant to their king and everyone else. He also knew what Morgana was capable of doing, and even though his leg was still wounded from the bolt before, he wanted to chase Morgana down and make her pay for the pain she had caused them all. Wasn't it enough to take away one of their brothers, she had to aim for another one?

"Where is Morgana now?" Percival asked Gwaine as he shifted his weight. Maybe he would be able to get his revenge after all.

Gwaine barely glanced away from Merlin as he answered. "I don't know. She decided to disappear when I opened the door," he said. His voice shook with his obvious anger at Morgana's actions as he helped Arthur bind Merlin's wounds.

"She must be gone, then," Gwen said as she balled her hands into fists in her lap. Everyone jumped and looked in her direction, obviously not expecting her to speak. "She's obviously done enough damage."

The knights lowered their eyes in sorrow once their queen had spoken. Every single one of them was sorry for being unable to save their fellow brother, and the queen's blood brother. Now it seemed that they had failed at even keeping Merlin safe.

"We should get out of here. As soon as possible," Leon said. He knew that the tower was setting everyone's nerves on edge, and sitting in it longer wasn't going to help any. They would probably all feel better once they had gotten as far away from the tower as possible.

Arthur couldn't help but agree as he lowered Merlin's tunic back down. It was bloodied, with a few tears from his finger nails, but it would have to do until they could get out of the tower and back to Camelot.

They had rescued his beloved queen, but had lost a brother-in-arms. Now on top of that, they had an injured manservant and friend to take all the way back to Camelot.

The road home had never seemed so long before.

* * *

Sorry it has taken so long for me to update this, but I was debating which direction to go with it. I think I've finally gotten it figured out, so it shouldn't be nearly as long in between updates. Hopefully you've enjoyed it, and if you didn't... Well, I'll try harder next time!

Until then, goodbye fellow fanfictioners!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Six Days Later**_

Gauis settled down in the chair next to Merlin's bed as he placed a rag on his forehead. The bowl sitting on the bedside table was almost completely empty of water, but Gauis was reluctant to leave Merlin's side to get some more.

He felt a bone deep sadness as he stared at the boy lying on the bed. His hair was sweaty, some of it sticking to the pillows while other parts stuck to his forehead or just straight up in the air.

When Arthur and the other knights had stumbled into Gauis's rooms with a very pale and unconscious Merlin, he had felt like his heart had almost completely shattered. It had taken less than a minute for the knights to clear away one of the tables and lay Merlin down on it, and Gauis had quickly flown into physician mode.

Without wasting any time he began to check over his ward. The first thing he did was remove the bandages that covered his stomach. They weren't wrapped quite properly, and Gauis resigned himself to later teach some of the knights how to wrap wounds better. The training they received for treating wounds was only half of what Gaius honestly wished they knew.

His eyes widened as he saw the marks on Merlin's skin. The marks were obviously of magical origin, although Gaius wasn't quite sure what they meant.

Instead of worrying about what the marks meant at that exact moment he tried to gleam information from the knights and the king beside him. Had they found Gwen? What had happened to Merlin? Did everyone make it back alright, except for Merlin?

It hadn't taken long for the knights and their king to explain what had happened. He noticed then that Elyan was missing from the group that had invaded him chambers. Gauis was calm on the outside as he listened to their story, but on the inside he was beside himself with worry and concern for the boy lying on his table in front of him.

His examination of his ward had only yielded one thing that, aside from the obvious magic in the symbols, could be causing his ward's unconsciousness. On the back of Merlin's head was a rather impressive area of swelling, as though he had fallen and hit his head on a stone path. Unfortunately, Gauis didn't think that even a bump that size would be enough to knock his ward out for so long. There had been plenty of times where he had been knocked out, and he always bounced back within a few hours.

It was on the fourth day after the knights and their king had returned with Merlin, almost six complete days after he had slipped into sleep and not awakened, that he finally seemed to stir.

After debating with himself for nearly an hour, Gaius finally decided he would need to go and get more water. He couldn't put off leaving his ward forever. As he stood to leave, Merlin appeared to move.

In an instant he was right back at the bedside of his ward, brushing Merlin's hair off of his forehead. "Merlin?" he asked, hope flaring in his chest.

The boy shifted again, obviously beginning to wake up a bit more. It was quickly apparent to the physician that Merlin was in pain, although where he wasn't sure.

"G-Gaius?" Merlin asked. His voice sounded weak and raspy, even to his own ears, causing a hand to reach up to his throat. It sounded as if he hadn't spoken in ages, and his throat felt like he had tried to gargle with knives.

As his eyes flickered open he caught sight of his mentor, right next to his side, just as if he had been there the entire time. His head was pounding and he felt slightly nauseous, but he couldn't help but try and give Gauis one of his goofy smiles. His smile unintentionally came out as more a grimace as the feelings of pain and sickness seemed to grow inside of him.

Even though it wasn't a good smile, or even really a smile at all, it still made Gaius feel slightly better. Merlin was awake, and not only was he awake, he was trying to reassure Gauis. It hurt his heart to have Merlin think that he needed to be reassured, but it still gave him slight hope that Merlin would be okay.

"How do you feel?" Gaius asked as he bent down closer to check the bump as best he could without actually having to move Merlin. His fingers ran through Merlin's hair until they found the still tender area.

Merlin flinched at the pain that spiked as soon as Gaius's fingers ghosted over the area. He squinted his eyes against the pain and the nauseous feeling that seemed to only be getting worse as the time passed.

"Like my head is going to split open," Merlin replied. He didn't want to make Gaius any more concerned than he already was, but it was the truth. He felt like his head was going to crack open any minute and his brain was going to leak out of his ears.

There was also an indescribable uneasy feeling in the pit of Merlin's stomach as he glanced around the room. Every time Gaius moved near him the feeling would only increase. Arthur usually wrote his senses off as "funny feelings", but they were so much more than that. He wasn't quite sure what was causing the feeling, but he knew that it couldn't be Gaius. He loved and trusted Gaius with his life.

Gaius looked at with sympathy in his eyes. "Yes, I would imagine so. You have quite the bump on your head," he said. Merlin slowly reached up to feel where the pain was coming from, but Gaius swatted his hand away. "No, Merlin. It will heal better if you don't mess with it."

Merlin flinched at Gaius's hand waving towards him, and then lowered his head back completely on to the pillow. Gaius worked around him, trying not to appear as worried as he truly was, obviously having missed his ward's flinch.

"How long was I asleep?" Merlin asked when he realized that he didn't have a clue. It seemed like years ago since they had set off to save Gwen, but at the same time it seemed like just hours ago. It was like his sense of time had been completely shaken around and replaced with complete and utter nonsense.

Gaius sighed as he sat back down in the chair beside Merlin's bed. "You were out for six days, Merlin," he said. "You had all of us very worried."

Merlin didn't need to hear that he had worried them all, not when Gaius's eyes told him all that he needed to know. They were filled with such deep concern that his ward might not have ever woken up from such a nasty hit to the head, that he might have slipped into a sleep that not even the bravest of knights could have saved him from.

He quickly diverted his eyes from Gaius's and suddenly found the blanket on his lap very interesting. "I'm sorry," he said as he picked at a loose thread on the blanket, "I didn't mean to. It's just that-,"

"Okay, Gaius, I've waited the appropriate amount of ban time, so I think that I'm allowed to come back in now!" a voice called from the other room.

Merlin glanced up at Gaius, who only rolled him eyes in exasperation and the slightest traces of amusement. "We'll continue this conversation later," Gaius promised, holding his finger up to Merlin's face to get his point across.

Not a second later, a head full of wavy brown hair popped through the door to Merlin's room. A wide smile spread across the face of the man standing in the doorway at seeing the young man awake and apparently coherent.

"Merlin!" he exclaimed as he stepped into the room and hurried over to Merlin's bedside. "When did you wake up?" His question was asked to Merlin, but he looked at Gaius as if the old man had been scheming something against him.

"I would've been here when you woke up, that is of course if Gaius had let me stay," Gwaine said, pointing his thumb at Gaius accusingly. _All his fault, _Gwaine mouthed to Merlin, but Gaius caught it anyways.

"It's hardly my fault that you tried to burn my work bench to the ground," Gaius said as he stood from the chair beside Merlin's bed and offered it to Gwaine.

"And how was I supposed to know that mixing those two things would lead to a fire, hm? Hardly my fault if your things aren't marked properly," Gwaine teased.

Gaius now held his finger up to Gwaine, this time in a warning motion. "You behave yourself. Merlin needs all the rest he can get, and he doesn't need you trying to burn down the entire castle."

Gwaine only shrugged his shoulders in response. As soon as Gaius was gone, his total attention was focused on Merlin. His smile faltered when he noticed that Merlin was still rather pale and that his blue eyes weren't as aware or as friendly as they usually were. "So, how are you feeling?"

That was a loaded question, and Merlin knew it. He couldn't tell him that he was feeling fine, because Gwaine would obviously see through that lie, but he also couldn't tell him the truth that his head felt like it was going to explode or that his stomach felt like a wild animal had used it as a chew toy. Or that he felt such a deep distrust of the knight now standing next to him that he wanted to crawl off of the bed right that second and escape the room.

In the end he went with a response that he had learned worked for most of the knights. "Nothing I can't handle."

Gwaine's smile seemed to shrink a little more at those words. Merlin was his friend, and in his mind Merlin was a completely innocent and helpless person who shouldn't have to "handle" any kind of pain. Sure, Merlin had his own moments of bravery and courage and a surprisingly strong surviving streak of luck, but that didn't mean anything to Gwaine. This boy in front of him could barely use a sword without threatening to trip over it and impale himself. There was no reason Morgana should have attacked him or that any of this should have happened to him in the first place.

"You shouldn't have to," Gwaine muttered, dropping his eyes to the same spot Merlin had been fiddling with before.

"What?"

The anger and sadness was instantly gone from Gwaine's voice as he looked back up at his friend, his smile stretching from ear to ear. "Nothing, don't worry about it. So, how long have you been awake?" Gwaine asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.

"Not very long," Merlin said, "Why?"

"Why?! Well we've all been worried about you Merlin! Do you know how big of a scare you gave us when you wouldn't wake up? Even the Princess's dirty socks didn't wake you up," Gwaine's voice carried along as if he was going to start telling a long and much embellished story, but Merlin's head wasn't quite up to following one of his tales today.

"You tried to wake me up using Arthur's socks?" Merlin asked.

"Just be thankful they didn't use Gwaine's," Leon said as he stepped into Merlin's tiny room with Percival trailing along behind. "You definitely wouldn't have made it out alive."

"Oh ha, ha, ha, very funny," Gwaine said. Merlin couldn't help the smile that was tugging at his lips as he watched his friends tease each other. It seemed like everything was just the way it should be, but there was something that Merlin was missing.

It was like an itch that just couldn't be scratched somewhere in the back of his mind. The harder he tried to think about it, the harder it became to think about anything. A pressure began to build behind his eyes, and he couldn't stop the groan of pain from escaping as he rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"What's wrong?" Gwaine asked as he leaned in closer to Merlin. Percival turned and stuck his head into the main room and called for Gaius to come quickly.

The three men hastily made room for the physician to come in and inspect his ward. As gently as he could, he pried Merlin's hands away from his eyes and forced them to rest at his sides.

"Merlin, can you tell me what's wrong?" Gaius softly asked.

"Head…It hurts," Merlin said. He resisted the urge to reach up and press his hands against the sides of his head, knowing that Gaius would just move them again anyways. The feeling of wrongness had settled even deeper within Merlin and his head seemed to be paying the price for it.

Gaius then set to work on checking Merlin's head over thoroughly. The swelling on the bump had gone down a significant amount, but it was still rather large. That didn't seem to be the cause of the pain, however.

Gaius went into the other room and pulled down one of the disgustingly yellow colored liquids from the shelf, nodding to himself as he checked to make sure it was the right one. After assuring himself that it was, he grabbed one of the cups of water from the table and went back into Merlin's room.

Merlin had once again placed his hands on his head, as if the simple act of holding it would stop it from exploding. Gaius had to admit that his ward was a pitiful sight.

"Here, this should help with the headache," he said, offering the yellow liquid. Merlin eyed it suspiciously, not truly trusting his mentor, but the pain was too much. It was better to take whatever it was Gaius was giving him and not have any pain than to try and argue. "And this is for the taste." He handed Merlin some water, which Merlin quickly downed in one gulp. His throat still felt raw from waking up and misuse; although he was still too busy focusing on keeping his head from splitting open to notice much.

Without another word, Gaius waved the others out of the room and shut the door behind him as they went into the other room. Gwaine opened his mouth to say something, but Gaius shushed him before he even spoke a word. He motioned for them to follow him out into the hallway, and they all followed, each with questioning looks on their faces.

Once they were outside Gwaine decided to pounce on Gaius with questions. "What happened in there?" he asked. "Everything was going just fine, and then…that!" He waved his arms towards the closed door as if that explained what "that" was.

"Merlin's suffered a very serious head injury. I don't know exactly how bad, seeing as how you all had to show up before I could finish my examination properly," Gaius's voice was low and serious, obviously not caring that he was speaking to three people whose status was above his.

"What do you know now, Gaius?" Leon asked, stepping in between Gwaine and the physician.

Leon's calm tone seemed to release all the annoyance that Gaius had held at the knights for being interrupted. Gaius sighed as he looked down at his hands before looking back up and watching the knights.

"I'm still not quite sure. He's obviously still very weak from what's happened, and I fear that his head injury might take quite a while to recover from," Gaius said.

Gwaine stepped forward, his voice and head low, "And what of the markings?" He glanced towards the closed chamber doors, as if he was fearful that Merlin might be listening.

"I've been looking in some books," Gaius began but trailed off. None of the books that he had read so far had given him enough information to go off of, and he needed to talk to Merlin before he decided what he needed to tell the knights exactly. The price was too high to risk possibly exposing Merlin's secret to anyone.

"And?" Leon prompted.

"And I've found nothing solid to go on," Gaius said. The knights shifted uncomfortably. It was obvious that this was not the news that they had been hoping to hear. "I wouldn't worry about it too much just yet," he added. "It could be nothing."

Percival uncrossed his arms. "With Morgana, it's rarely nothing."

Gaius only raised an eyebrow in response. Everyone knew that was true, but to hear in from the normally silent knight seemed to make it even more serious somehow. He nodded his head; still not sure what else he should say to the knights.

"I guess we should leave Merlin to rest," Leon said, nodding his head towards Gaius's chamber door. "Arthur still needs to be updated on everything that's happened."

Gwaine mumbled about how it was "unfair that they expected him to leave his friend" but left with them anyways. It wasn't hard to tell that Gaius's patience had almost worn completely thin with the knight stumbling around his chambers all the time.

"I'm sure he'll be fine with some rest. Look, in a few days I'm sure he'll be bouncing around, smiling like he always does," Percival said, trying to cheer his friend up. Gwaine couldn't help the little smile that appeared on his face as he pictured it.

"The castle could certainly use it," Gwaine muttered under his breath, but Percival heard it, and he couldn't help but agree. Ever since they had returned from the Dark Tower the entire castle had become quite and tense. The funeral for Elyan had taken place shortly after their return, despite some protests that they should wait for Merlin to wake up so he could be in attendance. After Gaius's original examination and being told that there was actually no way to tell when exactly Merlin might wake up (in fact, Gaius was fearful that he might never wake up, although he refused to admit this to anyone), they proceeded with the funeral as planned.

Ever since it seemed like the colors had been drained from the castle, and everyone's spirits seemed to be dampened. Everyone walked around, going about their duties with their heads down and trying to make as little sound as they could.

At first it had seemed-and was- a respectful action after the death of the brave knight, but after a while it became an almost suffocating weight that no one seemed to be able to crawl out from underneath.

Gwaine glanced back towards Gaius's chambers one last time before turning the corner. Maybe lifting some of the worry about Merlin's unconsciousness would brighten the castle up a little bit. If that didn't work, the thought of Merlin being up and running around again soon enough would.

* * *

Sorry not much happened in this chapter. I've got a lot of stuff planned, and it almost seems to be moving really slow and turning into a much longer story than I ever planned.

Since testing is going on at school, my updates will either be VERY frequent or almost non-existent. Welp, bye now!


	4. Chapter 4

Sun was streaming in through the windows and shining almost directly on Arthur's face. He squinted his eyes into the sunlight, obviously confused by the sudden intense light in the room.

Arthur rolled over and wrapped an arm around Guinevere, or at least where his Guinevere should have been. He frowned and once again squinted his eyes, this time looking for Guinevere.

Something felt wrong about the light coming in through the window, but Arthur couldn't quite figure out what that was.

"Wakey, wakey!" a voice called from somewhere near the window. Arthur's eyes popped open, instantly awake and alert. He rolled over out of bed and stared at the raven haired boy standing by the window. Merlin smiled and pointed to the table.

"Already got your breakfast set up and everything," he said.

Arthur glanced to the table and then back at Merlin. His eyes searched all over the younger man, looking for any signs that he was in any pain or distress. After all, it was far too soon for the boy to be back to work.

"Merlin," Arthur said, not sure where to even begin asking questions. The boy fidgeted slightly, his fingers curling and uncurling. "Just what do you think you're doing here?"

Even though Arthur's voice hadn't been angry, Merlin still flinched. The pain in his stomach increased, giving him an uncertain feeling. He had to remind himself that this was Arthur, not that person who had been in the tower with him.

Arthur seemed to notice the effect his voice had on Merlin, because he lowered his voice the next time he spoke. "You're still recovering. You shouldn't be here, getting my breakfast or lugging armor around. You should still be in bed."

Merlin tried to make himself appear as calm and normal as possible, but from the look on Arthur's face he could tell he was failing. Quickly trying to mask any discomfort or confusion he felt towards Arthur, he turned around and walked to the table.

The movement pained him, but he didn't let on that it did to Arthur. Maybe if he acted like everything was alright, it really would be. Maybe he would stop feeling like he was missing something, or someone, and just be himself.

"You know, I normally have to beat down Gaius's door before you ever get up," Arthur said, attempting to keep his tone teasing. "Why are you suddenly so keen on coming to work now?"

He stared at the back of Merlin's head and waited for a sign, any sign at all really, to finally reveal what it was that had been bothering Merlin lately.

Part of Arthur wanted to write it off as Morgana's doing. After all, the woman could be downright terrifying, but he knew there had to be something else. Even before the whole horrible Morgana business, Merlin had been bothered by something. The young man constantly walked around the castle with a dark haze following him around, preventing his goofy smile from ever coming out anymore. He barely even took the bait on Arthur's teasing anymore, something that he used to do all the time.

"Gaius wakes me up, you prat. You're the one who's still in his bed clothes," Merlin said. Despite his best attempt at their usual banter, his voice fell flat.

Arthur furrowed his brows at Merlin as he bit back a response. He really wanted to point out that he was only still in his bedclothes because he had a lazy clotpole for a servant, but he strongly resisted. He had to admit, Merlin was surprisingly good at dodging his question, which only served to make Arthur more concerned about him. Not that he'd ever admit being concerned about him to his manservant.

There couldn't really be anything that bad going on with his servant, could there be? Surely if there was something bothering him, he'd tell Arthur about it. A ball of ice in his stomach informed him that that might not be the case.

Maybe there was something wrong back in Ealdor? Arthur suddenly felt guilty at not knowing anything that was going on out in Ealdor. He knew that it was outside of his kingdom, but that didn't really matter much to him. It was Merlin's home after all.

"Is everything alright in Ealdor?" he asked, his worry coming through his words despite his best attempts to hide it.

Merlin looked startled at the mention of his home village. Whatever he had been expecting Arthur to ask, it hadn't been that, obviously. He tried to still his twitching fingers as he looked up at Arthur.

"Yes, everything's fine," he said. Arthur could clearly read the confusion on Merlin's face, which didn't actually help his nerves any. "At least it was the last time I received a letter."

Ah, maybe _that _was it after all. Merlin was just home sick for Ealdor. He had blended into Camelot so perfectly well that Arthur sometimes forgot Camelot wasn't Merlin's first home.

Although it made no sense, Arthur was slightly hurt. Was Camelot not good enough for him? It had been Arthur's home ever since he had been born, and maybe it lacked the quaint quality of Merlin's village, but he figured that was a good thing. It was good to get away occasionally, but having to actually live like that forever would have driven Arthur insane.

Perhaps it was Hunith that made Merlin miss Ealdor so much. She was his mum after all, and even if Arthur had never had one, he could understand the heartache of missing her.

"Do you miss Ealdor?" Arthur asked.

Merlin glanced down to the ground, away from Arthur's eyes. He could tell that his question had made the younger man uncomfortable, but he still felt like he was owed an answer.

"Not really, I mean not anymore," he said. He fidgeted again and looked around the room. "Camelot's not so bad, after all."

Arthur smiled despite himself. It made him feel proud that Merlin actually seemed to like living in Camelot, and that he wasn't just staying in Camelot for Gaius or something similar to that. It had been years since Merlin had come to Camelot, but it had honestly never occurred to him that Merlin might not have actually liked living in Camelot.

"Perhaps you would like some time off?" Arthur asked. He tried to seem indifferent to the entire conversation but wasn't able to keep some of his concern from seeping through. "You could go and visit Ealdor?" he suggested.

Merlin tried to keep the hope off of his face, but it didn't work. He would be lying if he said the thought of going to Ealdor didn't make him happy. It had been forever since he had been to see his mother, and he was more than ready to see her again.

"Really?" he asked. He hoped that Arthur wasn't playing a cruel prank on him by giving him false hope before taking it away. One look at Arthur's face told him that he was being serious however, and Merlin's heart leaped.

"Of course really," Arthur said. "Gaius has said that you need some good rest, and you aren't going to get that if you constantly have the urge to bring me breakfast or polish my armor."

Merlin knew that Arthur was teasing, but that didn't stop his annoyance from flaring up. He couldn't control the twitching his fingers began to do again, and forced his hands into loose fists. It didn't take much to annoy him lately, and it had been even worse since he had woken up back in Camelot. Maybe a trip to Ealdor was just what he needed.

Despite all of this he managed to force a smile. Already in his head he was planning his trip, all the preparations that would be needed: telling Gaius, packing, and a number of other things before he would even be allowed out of the door.

As if sensing what his manservant was thinking, Arthur said, "I'll have everything prepared. Why don't you go and have Gaius clear you for travel?"

Merlin knew that he should probably protest everything about this trip, from Arthur planning it to even leaving Arthur's side, but he didn't really want to. He wanted to visit his mother, he didn't want to plan anything, and he was honestly tired of constantly being on alert for Arthur's well being. Just walking around the castle gathering Arthur's breakfast had tired him out quite a bit. He knew that he couldn't let on though, or else Gaius would never approve of him traveling all the way to Ealdor.

The walk back to Gaius's chambers seemed shorter than it normally did, and definitely shorter than the walk to Arthur's earlier that morning. As he left Arthur's he seemed to relax, some of the tension that he wasn't even aware he had been holding had left him.

Gaius seemed to recognize the change in his ward the second that he walked in the door. The entire time Merlin had been awake he had been asking questions about what had happened in the tower and what had happened with Morgana, but Gaius had only given him the simplest of versions he could. Merlin had already been stressed beyond what he should be to give him a healthy healing process, and Gaius didn't want to be another cause of that stress.

"Merlin, I thought I told you to stay in bed?" Gaius asked, although his tone held no real disapproval. The boy had been growing more and more restless in his bedroom, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he made his escape.

Merlin's steps faltered for a moment, wary of his mentor's words, before finally figuring out that he was only teasing. Lately it seemed harder and harder to tell when someone was only kidding and it caused him to question every action someone did.

Merlin decided that it would be best to just outright ask Gaius if he would be able to travel to Ealdor any time soon, as beating around the bush would get him nowhere with Gaius in this situation.

"Gaius, when would you say I'd be well enough to travel?"Merlin asked Gaius. He raised his infamous eyebrow at his ward's question.

"Travel? Merlin, you can't be serious, you've only been back a week," Gaius said. His eyes searched over Merlin, looking for any sign as to where his question had come from.

Merlin resisted his urge to roll his eyes. What did it matter how long he had been back? He was healing as well as could be expected, even better considering he would hardly sit still. Surely Gaius would agree to that.

"Just to Ealdor. That's not too far, and besides," Merlin said, "Arthur's giving me time off. What else should I use that time doing?"

Gaius still wanted to argue about his ward's health but found that he couldn't. If Merlin wanted to go visit his mother, he couldn't really stop him.

He gave a long, put upon sigh. "You'll be careful, won't you? No attracting any trouble or danger on your trip?"

Merlin gave a barely perceptible shrug, a small smile slowly coming to his face. "I don't know. Can't really promise you on that one," he said. Gaius was still looking at him with concern, so he continued. "I'll do my very best to stay out of trouble."

His boy's words gave the old man little reassurance, but he found that he couldn't argue much. He knew that it often wasn't Merlin's fault that things like this happened. It was that idiotic thing called fate's fault.

"You won't be going alone, will you?" Gaius asked.

"I doubt it. The patrols around Camelot have doubled since Morgana attacked Gwen, and Arthur's recommended that people travel in groups of three or more. Safety in numbers and all that," he said. He could reach Ealdor much faster on his own, honestly, if he was able to travel and use his magic freely to hide from bandits or fight them if it came down to that. He couldn't do that if he was constantly worried about his secret being exposed, however.

"Good," Gaius said. His eyes wandered to Merlin's stomach, where the thick, black marks still marred his usually pale skin. "We don't know what Morgana is planning after all."

The burning feeling came back again, but not nearly as strong as it had been before. It was almost as if the markings knew that they were being discussed and didn't particularly like it. It seemed to always happen whenever he thought about them or tried to remember what happened in the tower.

All his memories of the tower came to him in flashes that prevented him from getting a decent night's rest. The memories, or nightmares as it seemed better to label them, were all dark and confusing with swirling emotions of fear and anger and hatred and confusion.

The only thing he could actually remember clearly was Arthur being there, attacking him for some reason that he couldn't figure out, and other people who it wasn't even possible for them to be in the tower being there and threatening Merlin and blaming him for everything.

From the descriptions Gaius has received it seemed that the tower had had mandrakes, or at least something similar stashed inside, causing visions very similar to his nightmares. Gaius had asked Merlin as soon as he was well and awake enough to, if he was still having nightmares or visions or anything else out of the ordinary happening to him, but Merlin had told him no. At the time the nightmares hadn't really seemed like too much to worry about, and Gaius always worried enough as it was.

"I have to go on my rounds now. Will you be alright to stay here for a while?" Gaius asked.

The annoyance that had faded to the back of his mind suddenly came forward again. Why was it that everyone had to treat him like an invalid? Like he was helpless and no use to anyone lately? If they knew what he was capable of, that his magic could demolish the entirety of Camelot with just a single thought, then maybe they wouldn't treat him like that.

_No,_ Merlin thought, _Gaius is only worried about you. _

Even though the thought was more than likely true, it didn't stop the irritation from growing inside him. The thought that even _Gaius, _who had been there for him for so long and _knew_ what he could do, would doubt that he could stay in his chambers alone for a few hours forced him to clench his teeth together.

"Of course," he said. His voice was rather calm considering the budding feelings of aggravation.

Gaius stared at him for a moment, noticing that his ward's tone was slightly off. The boy in front of him had his eyes cast down to the floor, refusing to look up and meet Gaius's eyes.

Gaius nodded and patted Merlin light on his head. "I'll be back soon." Merlin didn't even reply as the old man walked past him to the door and left.

Once outside the door Gaius released a sigh he didn't even know he had been holding. He leaned upon the door for a moment, trying to compose himself before going out on his rounds. He was tempted to call for a servant to go and make his rounds for him, or at least a guard to watch out for his ward, but decided against it.

He knew that he was being overprotective of Merlin, but he couldn't really help it. When the knights had come in carrying Merlin, he had feared the worst had happened to him. The boy become like a son to him, and just the thought of anything bad at all happening to him killed the old man. The sight of him unconscious and unaware had caused a panic inside him that he never wanted to feel again.

As Gaius walked away he realized that he had never exactly given Merlin an answer as to when he was going to be well enough to travel, and decided that it was probably for the best. It would still be a couple more days until the boy would be well enough, but Gaius knew that the second he told him that, Merlin would constantly insist that he was healthy enough well before then.

Sighing again, he hurried off to start his rounds. The quicker he started them, the quicker he would be able to check in on Merlin.

* * *

Time for Merlin passed terribly slowly and in a sort of daze. As he had been given time off by Arthur until Gaius deemed him well enough to return to work, and all the knights were busy with either training or patrols, he truly had nothing to do.

A while after Gaius had left he had tried to practice some new spells he had been reading about before the whole Dark Tower business, but nothing seemed to work right. His magic seemed to be just as annoyed and tired as he was, and seeing as how it tended to response to his emotions, that wasn't too surprising. That didn't stop him from becoming even more frustrated, however.

The rest of the day went about the same, with Gaius occasionally stopping in and checking up on Merlin and trying to get the boy to eat something. He managed to choke down a few spoonfuls of food, not from hunger, but just to stop Gaius from asking him to.

Just when Merlin thought he'd go absolutely insane from boredom, Gwen entered. She looked as beautiful as always, her long, dark red dress catching the light from the candles already lit in Gaius's chambers. Her expression seemed to brighten slightly at seeing Merlin sitting alone in the room.

"Hello, Merlin," Gwen said. Her eyes roamed over the room, almost like she was looking for something out of place. "Where's Gaius?" she asked, attempting to sound nonchalant.

"He had to go and visit someone in the lower town. I can help you with whatever it is you need," he said, standing up carefully from the table and book he had been trying to read for the last few hours.

"Oh, no," Gwen said, waving her hand at the thought. "I actually came here to talk to you."

Merlin looked confused. "Me?" he asked. While it was true they were friends, and when they had been of the same station, they had often made fun of some of the nobles and their ways and traditions, but in recent years they had slowly drifted apart. It was a slightly ironic thought now that Gwen was queen and Merlin was still just a servant.

"Yes, you," she said as if there was no one else in the world she would have sought out here, and he was a fool for not realizing it. "I feel as though I have not been a good friend to you. You've been through a lot here recently, have you not?"

Merlin shrugged. "So have you," he said. "I truly am sorry about…" his voice trailed off, not wanting to mention Gwen's now dead brother.

A confused feeling went through Gwen as she thought of Elyan. He had been her brother, yet she didn't really feel very sad. Maybe that was because he had been working with the traitors of Camelot who were opposing Morgana. Whatever it was, it was practically indescribable, and Gwen didn't think she could quite explain what was wrong, even if she thought anything was wrong.

"Yes, thank you," she said stiffly. Merlin shifted a bit under Gwen's gaze, which seemed to be studying him. The feeling of annoyance or paranoia or whatever it was that had been there since he had woken up wasn't there anymore, and he hadn't realized how strong that feeling had gotten until it was gone.

The feeling that had replaced it was less fearful, and more like Gwen and Merlin were children and sharing a secret. He'd honestly had enough of secrets, though, and the thought of one more on his already huge stack of them seemed ridiculous.

"It's just that," she paused for a moment. "You were locked in the room with Morgana as well, yes?"

Merlin nodded. "That's what I've been told. I don't remember too much, though." Gaius had warned him it would take a while before his memories came back, if at all, due to the amount of stress is body and magic had endured.

At first Merlin had been afraid at his lack of control over his magic meant that Morgana now knew about it. He couldn't remember anything that had gone on in the tower anyways, so maybe he had accidentally revealed his secret to Morgana.

When Merlin had shared his fears with Gaius, the older man had been quick to try and ease Merlin's worries. "I'm sure Morgana doesn't know," he had said. "Do you think we would still be here if she did? It was probably damaged from whatever these markings are or being in the tower for so long."

Gwen could sense that Merlin was in deep thought as she rested her hand on his shoulder. "Of course not," Gwen said reassuringly. "I'm sure that it will come back with time. Meanwhile, I've heard of your upcoming trip."

She waited as Merlin tried to explain Arthur giving him time off. "I know, Merlin, I've already been told," she said kindly. "Which brings me to another reason why I'm here." He looked up from the floor to Gwen's big brown eyes. "I was wondering if you would like some company, on your journey I mean. Ealdor isn't too far away, and I was hoping to see your mother again."

Merlin thought for a second. The thought of Gwen traveling with him was a pleasing one, although he knew she couldn't come along. It was much too dangerous. Morgana had already targeted her once before, and that had been with three or four knights. The group traveling with Merlin wouldn't be that big, so as to avoid suspicion while traveling into King Lot's territory.

"Gwen," Merlin started, but she quickly held up a hand for him to stop.

"I must insist, Merlin," she said, giving himher most queenly look. Then her eyes grew soft again. "Please. This place…. Everywhere I look I see Elyan."

There was nothing Merlin could say to that, but it didn't matter to Gwen as she was already continuing.

"You weren't awake for his funeral, but it was horrible. I had to watch him die, and then I had to watch him turn to ashes," she said. Merlin's heart broke for one of his oldest friends, and the thought of Gwen having to watch her brother die and then attend the funeral was enough to make him want to cry.

Merlin could only nod his head. Her brown eyes were glistening with tears she wouldn't shed. Just as before, she found herself unable to properly grieve for Elyan. He had been a knight of Camelot, a knight who stood for everything the Lady Morgana was working against. But still… He had been her brother, and her close and only friend until Leon when she was younger.

"Okay," Merlin said quietly. "But Arthur will never let you. It's still dangerous after all."

Gwen smiled slightly at Merlin's words. "Don't worry about Arthur," she said. "I'll take care of that."

* * *

So, there's the next chapter. And seriously, how the heck does this already have 45 followers?! You guys are absolutely amazing and I love all of you!

I hope that you guys have enjoyed this chapter, and I hope that you'll stick around for the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin rolled over out of bed and got dressed as quickly as he could for the trip to Ealdor. The wooden wardrobe creaked and groaned as he flung the door open to finish the packing that he hadn't done last night.

Gaius had insisted that Merlin wait at least two days before he would be allowed to travel anywhere, and even then he made it known that he was reluctant to let his ward out of his sight.

Merlin rushed down the stairs into the main room that he and Gaius shared and glanced around. On the edge of the table Gaius had set out some breakfast for him, before leaving to go on his rounds earlier in the morning. Without even thinking about it, Merlin choked down the food and dragged his bag to the door.

Before Merlin could even touch it, the door swung open, narrowly missing Merlin's nose. In the doorway stood Gwaine, his usual roguish grin plastered on his face, staring at Merlin.

"Merlin!" he said excitedly as he took Merlin's bag from him. "Good to see you up and about, mate."

The uneasy feeling that had been plaguing him since he had woke up returned. It didn't seem to care that Gwaine was his friend, and that he had no reason to be uncomfortable around him, or that Gwaine had practically been the one to save him from Morgana. It's only purpose seemed to be to make Merlin miserable.

"You know I would have been by to see you, but _Gaius_," he dragged out the old man's name like a whining child, "I mean, the table already has so many burn marks, what's one more added to it, eh?"

Much to Merlin's relief, Gwaine didn't need him to answer to carry on a conversation. And that suited Merlin just fine, honestly. He wasn't really in the mood to talk anyways.

If Gwaine noticed, he didn't say anything. He went on and on, about some of the most random stories ever, and Merlin was sure that even if he had been paying attention it still wouldn't have made any sense. Most of his stories didn't anyways.

They walked through the hallways, heading towards the stables. Some servants slowed down to watch as the knight and servant walked side by side, the knight joking loudly and much too excitedly for this earlier in the morning. Others preferred to ignore the loud knight and the King's servant, long since used to the odd comings and goings in Camelot.

The stables quickly came into view, where their horses would be waiting to take them to Ealdor. Just as Merlin expected, his horse was waiting with a stable boy, looking rather happy to see Merlin.

The horse wasn't really Merlin's, rather a horse that Arthur had set aside for the servant for whenever they went of trips or patrols. Arthur knew that the servant wasn't trained to ride like all the other knights were, so he had set aside a horse that was one of the most tame and gentlest horses that had ever graced Camelot's grounds.

Next to Merlin's horse was Gwaine's, snorting as if it had something better to do than stand around and wait all day for the two men. Gwaine smiled and reached over to pat the horse on its neck, hoping that it wouldn't choose today to be persnickety, although hoping with this horse rarely went the way he wanted it to.

Another horse had been saddled up and was standing in between Gwaine's horse and the stable boy. Instantly Merlin recognized it as Queen Guinevere's horse, alongside his and Gwaine's.

"My Lady?" Gwaine asked confusedly. He looked over Gwen, who was wearing her riding clothes, and her horse, along with the supplies that had been strapped onto said horse. It appeared as if it was prepared for a trip for several days, at least.

"Hello, Sir Gwaine," Gwen said smoothly as she patted her horse on the neck, just as Gwaine had done earlier. Gwaine glanced around still confused, obviously trying to figure out what the queen was doing down in the stables so early in the morning, with riding gear on much less.

"I hope you don't mind another person tagging along," she said. Gwaine looked to Merlin for answers, but he didn't have any.

Honestly, Merlin was sure that Gwen would never get Arthur agree to her accompanying them all the way to Ealdor. At least not with all of Camelot on high alert for Morgana.

"Does the king know of this?" Gwaine asked, voicing the question everyone the stables had been thinking.

Gwen stepped up into the stirrups and hoisted herself onto the horse. She then sat up to her full height on her horse and put on her most regal face. At that moment she looked every bit the queen she actually was. "Of course he does. What kind of queen do you take me for?"

Gwaine stood, stuck for a second, unsure of what he should say or do. His eyes sought out Merlin's for help.

Even though the uneasy and distrusting feeling was still inside him, he couldn't help but try and come to Gwaine's rescue. "What Gwaine meant by that was that he was shocked, due to the… dangers outside the citadel recently," he said, carefully choosing his words.

He had been ready to say something about Morgana still being a threat, but something had stopped him. A slight pain in his head returned as he thought of Morgana, a pain that he couldn't ever quite explain. It was almost like he was picking at a stone wall inside his mind, slowly chipping away at it with tools that weren't meant to be used that way.

Gwen seemed to calm at Merlin's words and nodded. Gwaine seemed to relax himself, the thought of having an angry royal on his hands, especially the queen, was not a pleasing one. He sent Merlin a grateful look as he swung his own bags on to his horse.

"Very well," Gwaine said, his voice still slightly cautious. "Shall we head out?"

It wasn't long after that that they were on their way to Ealdor. The sun slowly rose through the trees as they made their way down the forest paths. Gwaine kept up a constant flow of chatter, his stories slightly cleaner than they normally were around the knights, Merlin noted. He didn't seem to really mind that neither Gwen nor Merlin were contributing anything to the conversation, much less actually listening to him, and he happily trailed on about chasing some man all through some random town because he had stolen some of Gwaine's apples (that he had no doubt stolen before hand). Or something similar to that, Merlin couldn't say for sure.

Gwaine glanced in between both of his friends, who rode on their horses in complete silence. It's not that the silence was necessarily uncomfortable, rather unusual. He'd never known Merlin or Gwen to go so long without babbling on in their own unique and special ways. Even though Gwen was now queen, and had been for a while now, she still chattered and stumbled over her words when she was with her friends every now and then.

"Is there a reason why you're both so quiet?" Gwaine asked eventually. He had left a space in between stories, waiting for one of them to pick up, or at least comment on it, but neither of them did. "It's not that I mind talking enough for all three of us, I just didn't figure I would actually have to."

Merlin looked away from his questioning gaze to stare back at the path in front of them. The anxious feeling inside of him had decreased the further away from Camelot they got, but every time the knight looked directly at him or talked directly to him it returned. It was a slimy, yet burning uncomfortable feeling that he wished would go away.

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked, trying to sound innocent enough. If the look on Gwaine's face meant anything, then he had probably failed.

Gwaine stared into his friend's blue eyes for a moment. He wasn't sure what it was, but something seemed to have changed about Merlin. Ever since the tower he hadn't been himself. The little bit he had been awake for he spent quiet, almost subdued. He wasn't nearly as snarky as he usually was, and his smiles, especially around Arthur or the other knights, had seemed strangely forced.

"I think we both know, mate," he said. He noticed the way Merlin flinched and paused before he spoke to him now. He did it to almost everyone now, even Gaius and Arthur.

Merlin leaned forward, still avoiding Gwaine's eyes, and patted his horse's neck. His eyes tried to remain on the path in front of him, but Gwaine was persistent. He pulled his horse up alongside Merlin's, blocking him from advancing.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Gwaine asked him. Gwen pulled her horse to a stop, watching Merlin and Gwaine's conversation. She seemed to be interested and slightly annoyed at the delay the knight was causing.

Merlin's eyes sought out anything that might help him, finally coming to rest on Gwen, who was watching their interactions from her horse with curious eyes. He pleaded with his eyes for her to step in and help him.

"Perhaps we should find a place to stop and rest," Gwen suggested. Gwaine swung his head around to look at her as if she had grown extra limbs or something else equally as strange. It was obvious that he still wanted answers to his questions but decided against it. If the queen, who had known Merlin longer than he had, thought that rest was what they needed, then so be it.

"Alright," Gwaine said with a nod of his head, his eyes never leaving Gwen's. "We'll rest for a little while then."

Merlin sagged with relief. He looked over to Gwen and mouthed "thank you" before spurring his horse to follow Gwaine's.

Why was the knight so adamant about finding out what was wrong with him? Sure, at one point in time they had been friends, but then Gwaine had become a knight and the rift between him and the knights had expanded. Everyone else had become a knight or royalty, but Merlin was still stuck as just a servant. A servant that no one even believed in.

Arthur still thought he was a fool, although with all of the foolish things he made him do, it was hardly a wonder. No matter how many times Merlin proved to him that he wasn't an idiot or a fool, that he was actually brave and loyal and trustworthy, it never seemed to be enough. He was still the idiot manservant, not a knight or royalty or anything special in anyone's eyes.

Even Mordred had become a knight. Just the thought of the druid boy turned knight was enough to make Merlin's fist curl uncontrollably. That boy was destined to kill Arthur, Merlin had heard so many times before, and even seen it with his own eyes in a prophecy. Yet he was still trusted more than Merlin.

Anger washed over him, despite the fact that he didn't want it to. He tried to force the anger back, but all that did was serve to make him angrier.

Up ahead, Gwaine turned around in his saddle slightly to get a better look at Merlin. His eyes were trained on the ground before him, his face set in angry stone. The anger there shocked Gwaine. Merlin was his friend, in fact his first ever friend, and he was a friend who could always be trusted to have a smile on his face, no matter what the situation. It just seemed wrong for him to look or be so angry.

Had he done that? Had asking questions about what was wrong been the wrong thing to do? He had to know that Gwaine was only concerned about him, and that all he wanted from him was for him to go back to being the happy and friendly servant that he knew him as.

Maybe it was for the best that he left Merlin alone for a while. The young man obviously needed to sort through whatever it was that had happened to him in that tower, and Gwaine constantly asking him questions would never allow him to do that, he realized.

Gwen was also watching Merlin, with her own slightly concerned look on her face. She also shot Gwaine the occasional annoyed look, to which to knight would turn around and face the front.

It wasn't long before they came to a small clearing near a stream that would be perfect for a quiet rest and refreshing the horses. Gwaine hastily, but gently, shooed Merlin away the younger man tried to help with their horses, motioning for him to take it easy and rest.

Although Merlin wasn't happy about being dismissed, he quickly sat down next to Gwen, who had been busy shooting the two of them odd looks. She promptly schooled her expression from curious to simply concerned and interested in what Merlin might be thinking or feeling.

Merlin felt some of his irritation ease when he saw the look on Gwen's face. He wasn't sure why all of his long withheld anger and, for lack of a better word, resentment, had come bubbling to the top. Either way, he desperately wished for those feelings to go away, as they were causing problems between him and his friends.

"It's okay, Merlin," she said. She didn't honestly believe that, of course, but she need to ease Merlin's temper. The boy seemed to be one misplaced question away from snapping, and she really couldn't have that. Not until she knew whether or not he was on Morgana's side.

Merlin deflated considerably at Gwen's words. "I know. It's just…" Merlin paused for a moment. How could he explain what was wrong when everything seemed to be, but without a specific reason for it? "I'll be better once I reach Ealdor, I'm sure." His voice held none of its usual confidence, but it did sound better than the angry tones he had used on Gwaine before.

Gwen wasn't sure where all this anger had come from, but she knew one thing for sure: she had to speak to Morgana soon.

* * *

Ealdor hadn't changed much since Merlin had last been to visit, which was admittedly too long ago. The little huts were still stacked randomly throughout the tiny village, smoke leaving chimney's as the families inside cooked. A couple of kids who had been running around after a dog came to a screeching halt when Gwaine, Gwen , and Merlin appeared at the edge of the village.

Two of them stared up in awe at the trio on horses, while a boy took off to tell an adult of their arrival. A little girl smiled shyly up at them, her face half hidden by her dark hair. Merlin nodded his head at her, as did Gwen, and the little girl took off after the first boy.

"Merlin!" A cry broke through the quiet country air as a short woman with dark, slightly graying hair, burst from inside one of the tiny houses. She rushed up to Merlin's horse, just as he jumped off, and wrapped him up in a hug.

His stomach ached from the burn marks, but he squeezed her tight anyways. It felt good to be home and actually see his mother to prove she was alright, not just read it in their letters.

Finally, Hunith released her son from the death grip she had wrapped him up in. She took a step back to get a good look at her boy, noticing how pale he was. Her eyes were filled with concern as she slowly turned from Merlin to Gwen and Gwaine, who were slowly dismounting from their horses.

"My Lady," Hunith said with a low bow in Gwen's direction. Then she turned to Gwaine, who was watching Hunith's actions with interest.

"And this is Gwaine," Merlin said, gesturing to the knight.

Gwain took a hold of Hunith's hand and gave it a kiss. "There's no way you're Merlin's mother, you're much too pretty," Gwaine said. Hunith smiled at Gwaine before ushering them into her home.

It too was just as Merlin remembered it. A sense of calmness that Merlin hadn't experienced since the tower washed over him. The smell of porridge filtered the air, coming from where it was cooking over the small fire, and a basket full of laundry that had just been brought up from the river sat near the door, dripping small puddles onto the dirt floor.

"I must apologize for the mess. If I had known that you all were going to come," Hunith said, trailing off. She walked over to the fire and took the pot off, clearly needing to do something with her hands.

"It's fine, Mum," Merlin said as he moved to lead Gwaine and Gwen to the small table with benches on either side.

Hunith seemed happy but flustered by her new house guests. Back when Arthur had still been a prince, Morgana a friend, and Gwen just a serving girl, and they had come to help Ealdor, the house had been full enough. And she had known they were coming. This time she had no warning and the queen was with them.

"There's nothing wrong with your home, Hunith. Ealdor is just as lovely as it ever was," Gwen said reassuringly. Hunith seemed to relax a little bit at Gwen's words, but not completely.

"This place is lovely. It reminds me of this one village that I stopped in. Lovely people, although you really didn't want to see them after dark," Gwaine said, beginning to launch into another one of his stories, this time directed at Merlin's mother. Merlin smiled and faintly hoped that his friend would make sure his stories were mother appropriate, although he was almost positive that he would. Gwaine was amazing with people, and Merlin was sure his mother would be no exception.

Before long, the door to Hunith's home had several small children sticking their heads in, curiously trying to get a peek at the knight and queen.

Never before had the little ones seen royalty such as Gwen venture into their tiny village, much less do so on purpose and mingle with someone in their home. All the kids appeared to be around the same age, with similar features giving them away as either siblings or cousins.

The girl who had smiled at them earlier smiled shyly again and knocked on Hunith's open door. Hunith glanced over her shoulder and shook her head in a knowing, motherly way.

"Well don't just stand there cluttering up my doorway and come on in," she said, and gestured for the young children to come inside.

There were four of them in all, two boys and two girls, and they scampered quickly into the room, one of the girls flinging herself onto Merlin's lap, nearly knocking him over onto Gwen.

One of the little boys with fluffy brown hair marched up to Gwaine and crossed his arms, almost like he was sizing Gwaine up. Instead of laughing off the boys attempt at bravery, Gwaine positioned himself so that he was standing similar to the boy in front of him.

"Are you a knight?" the boy asked. "Like a real, proper knight?"

Gwaine nodded his head and the boy huffed. "Show me your sword then."

"Garrett, leave Sir Gwaine alone," Hunith admonished, shaking her finger at him. "Or I'll send you back home." The boys and girl closest to Gwaine huffed and sat down on the floor.

The girl on Merlin's lap leaned over until she was as close as she dared get to Gwen. "Queen Guinevere," the little girl whispered in awe.

Gwen leaned back slightly, startled by the little girl's sudden nearness. She'd be lying if she said that the look of awe on the star struck little girl's face didn't make her at least a little bit happy.

"Hello there. And who might you be?" she asked politely.

The little girl eased back into Merlin, causing the pain from his stomach to spread throughout his body. He was careful not to let it show, though, as it would only upset the little girl. He shifted her slightly closer to Gwen, relieving some of the pain.

"I'm Cecily. Those are my idiot brothers and sister," she said, then blushed when she realized what she had said to the queen.

Noticing the little girl's embarrassment and the other children's annoyance, Hunith decided to step in. "Cecily, why don't you all go outside and play for a while? While they get settled in?"

At Hunith's suggestion, Merlin tried to ease her off of his lap and onto the floor. She was having none of it however, and wrapped her arms tighter around Merlin and his arms.

"It's been forever since you've been back, though," Cecily pouted quietly. She stuck out her lip and finally sighed. "Fine, I'll see you before you leave though, right?"

After confirming that Merlin wasn't just going to disappear before she got to see him again, Cecily bounded out of the door, her siblings trailing along after her. She stopped at the door and gave one last wave at Merlin, Gwen, and Gwaine before taking off.

"She sure has grown a lot," Merlin said. "The last time I saw them they were just learning to run and talk."

Hunith nodded her head. "Ever since that outbreak a few years ago they like to wait around for either you or Gaius to show up again." She shook her head. "I swear, it's like raising four other children."

Gwaine squinted his eyes as he settled back against the table on the bench. "Outbreak? What outbreak?" he asked.

Hunith barely looked up from where she was stirring the porridge. "Oh this sickness hit the village a while back. It also hit some of the bigger surrounding villages and took several lives there if I understand correctly," she said. "When I mentioned it in a letter that the children had fallen ill, Gaius and Merlin came all the way out here and fixed them right up." She smiled proudly at her son.

Although Gwaine did not doubt her words, he was confused. How come he had never heard of this outbreak before now? Why had word of such an illness never reached Camelot? Sure, Ealdor was pretty far from Camelot, but they normally heard of such a thing happening, especially so close to their border.

Gwaine looked over at Merlin. Did Merlin not think enough of him to mention such an illness to him? The thought of Merlin and Gaius traveling alone through the forests to get to Ealdor set him on edge. Merlin wasn't a trained knight, and half the time he didn't even have a sword on him. How in the world Merlin and Gaius ever managed to get anywhere without any trouble was a mystery to Gwaine, especially with Merlin being such an attraction for dangerous situations.

'I'll just have to watch him then,' Gwaine thought.

"Ever since then those kids have been bothering me nonstop, asking when either you or Gaius would return."

Merlin smiled at the thought it made him slightly sad to think of the children waiting for him to return, even though it was highly likely that he wouldn't. Although, it was a wonder that they even remembered Merlin or Gaius, even more so that they remembered what he looked like after all this time, but if he really thought about it, Merlin didn't really look too different from when he had first stepped into Camelot.

"Why don't I just go hang the laundry out to dry, and then I'll come back in and finish making dinner." Hunith cast an eye to the small pot of porridge. "After all, I think we're going to need some more food," she said.

Gwen, seeing her chance to get away for a few moments, stood up quickly, beating Hunith to the basket.

"Why don't you let me handle that? That way it'll only take half the time," she said. Gwen stooped down and grabbed the basket and began to head out the door, leaving no room for an argument.

"But, I really couldn't-" Hunith began to say, but Gwen had already left, flashing a small smile over her shoulder as she left. Hunith turned and gave both Merlin and Gwaine a helpless smile.

"I'll go with her," Gwaine said, jumping up off of the bench to march after Gwen. He waved away Hunith's protests, just as Gwen had and headed off after her.

"Well he's certainly charming," Hunith said once Gwaine was out of ear shot. Merlin shook his head in amusement, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Most people say so," Merlin said. His smile slowly fell from his face, and Hunith frowned.

She knew that something was wrong, but she didn't ask him about it. Hunith knew that he would talk about it whenever he was ready and not a second before. She could only hope whatever it was her son had gotten himself into, he could get himself out of it.

* * *

Sorry for such a long break. Prom, people in the grade above me graduating, registering for concurrent-enrollment, and finally getting a job has taken over most of my life. Actually, it's mainly the job thing, but whatever.

Again, I know that there's not too much going on in this chapter, but it's going to pick up next chapter.

Anyways, thank all of you who have followed/alerted/reviewed this story. It means so much to me, you honestly have _no _idea.

-SS


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